Friday, February 26, 2010

WHO and NHS sittin' in a tree....

Further to my last post, which decried my general reluctance to resuscitate patients by the light of a cell phone in the event of a power blackout, I discovered that the NHS must get their dose of stupid via suckling at the teat of big mamma WHO. Why? Because:
WHO urges hospitals to join climate change battle
Hospitals should use alternative forms of energy such as solar panels and wind turbines, install energy-efficient lightbulbs as well as buy organic food from local suppliers and make ambulances more environmentally friendly, the WHO said

Awesome, says I. Can we also dance around naked in the (presumably empty) parking lot singing Kumbaya?
So, when we install these inefficient and intermittent forms of energy production, who is gonna be first to volunteer to be hooked up to the solar powered ventilators? Or the wind powered dialysis unit?
Might I also suggest that we install the energy-efficient lightbulbs in the paediatric ward, because sick kids won't care about mercury vapour, and given the strange health problems that might result from wind turbines producing infrasound in a really nutty range of hertz, maybe they should go on top of the psychiatric ward.
As far as "buying organic produce from local suppliers" goes, this is definitely do-able, but since the food budget of your average hospital doesn't extend much further than powdered scrambled eggs, we might have to cut down on other expenses. Like soap. Or medicine.
I am also definitely interested in the green ambulance concept, after all, it worked so well in Spain, didn't it?
Or maybe we could just scrap the idea of these new fandangled hospitals all together. After all, back in my day, we didn't have no hospitals, just some bloke down t'pub named Frank, who'd cut off your leg for a fiver. It wasn't ideal, but Frank-based care has a small carbon footprint, and thats what counts.

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